I Am Slipping!
"Oh my God, you seem to have it all together!"
How many times you hear that and feel like screaming "UM NOOOO! I'M A MESS!!" and then vent like there's no tomorrow? Yet, the times I had heard that I just giggle and softly say "not really" and leave it alone or "not really but you figure things out along the way". Well...not today.
Today, I want to say I don't have it together like AT ALL. Not even a little.
Before this whole pandemic when I was a full time employee, wife, and mom it wasn't easy to have it all together. And even now that I'm home working on some things that I hope to announce soon and helping Caleb with virtual home schooling while taking care of Ethan as well it is still not any easier. Something, always gets affected and you can even say that ends up getting hurt. Whether it was before when at times I was not able to concentrate at work, and even now not being able to clean dirty dishes, or not play with my children or being so tired I don't get to stay up to talk to Carlos. Something doesn't get done completely or well.
One afternoon I happen to make time to have a lunch date with my husband at the house. I was able to bring myself to talk to him about not having it all together which is not like I had never told him that but this time it was different because I was able to share how I didn't know how to make things better. I didn't have in mind to have this conversation, all I had in mind was that I wanted to have lunch with him. Yet, as we were randomly talking we ended up there.
We realized that we live such a fast paced life so focused in creating a better future for our family that we were missing out in the present. I will talk more about this in the future. Yet, what I will share with you all today is that at times if not every time having a fast paced life filled with an endless things of to-do makes it practically impossible to have it together. You're living your life so overwhelmed with things you need to tackle or things you were supposed to tackle but something popped up and got in the way. How can you call that living? I'll leave it there for now, as food for thought.
But overall, even when you slow down I want you to know that you might find yourself not having it all together. I also WANT you to know that IT'S OK! We're not meant to have it all together. We're meant to depend on the only One who does have it all together, Jesus. So in those many moments that you feel overwhelmed and like a mess that's failing at everything I encourage you to cry out to Jesus.
How many times you hear that and feel like screaming "UM NOOOO! I'M A MESS!!" and then vent like there's no tomorrow? Yet, the times I had heard that I just giggle and softly say "not really" and leave it alone or "not really but you figure things out along the way". Well...not today.
Today, I want to say I don't have it together like AT ALL. Not even a little.
Before this whole pandemic when I was a full time employee, wife, and mom it wasn't easy to have it all together. And even now that I'm home working on some things that I hope to announce soon and helping Caleb with virtual home schooling while taking care of Ethan as well it is still not any easier. Something, always gets affected and you can even say that ends up getting hurt. Whether it was before when at times I was not able to concentrate at work, and even now not being able to clean dirty dishes, or not play with my children or being so tired I don't get to stay up to talk to Carlos. Something doesn't get done completely or well.
One afternoon I happen to make time to have a lunch date with my husband at the house. I was able to bring myself to talk to him about not having it all together which is not like I had never told him that but this time it was different because I was able to share how I didn't know how to make things better. I didn't have in mind to have this conversation, all I had in mind was that I wanted to have lunch with him. Yet, as we were randomly talking we ended up there.
We realized that we live such a fast paced life so focused in creating a better future for our family that we were missing out in the present. I will talk more about this in the future. Yet, what I will share with you all today is that at times if not every time having a fast paced life filled with an endless things of to-do makes it practically impossible to have it together. You're living your life so overwhelmed with things you need to tackle or things you were supposed to tackle but something popped up and got in the way. How can you call that living? I'll leave it there for now, as food for thought.
But overall, even when you slow down I want you to know that you might find yourself not having it all together. I also WANT you to know that IT'S OK! We're not meant to have it all together. We're meant to depend on the only One who does have it all together, Jesus. So in those many moments that you feel overwhelmed and like a mess that's failing at everything I encourage you to cry out to Jesus.
Psalms 94:18 says,
"I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me"
Although this Psalm is talking about being persecuted, which we're not (although some of us like me right now might feel like we are being persecuted by the pile of dirty dishes), God is an unchanging God. Which means that if at any moment you cry out to Him "I am slipping", in His unfailing love and grace He will support you. I can't count the amount of times that I've felt like I was slipping, completely failing and have had to cry out to Him. Sometimes even before being able to cry out to Him, He allows my son to look at me and say "thank you mommy, you're beautiful, I love you." or my husband has come to me and said, "baby thank you, you're awesome." And those words at that precise moment has made me feel like I went from holding my breath for so long to finally breathing again. Simply because they're not seeing what I haven't been able to do but they simply see me.
"I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me"
Although this Psalm is talking about being persecuted, which we're not (although some of us like me right now might feel like we are being persecuted by the pile of dirty dishes), God is an unchanging God. Which means that if at any moment you cry out to Him "I am slipping", in His unfailing love and grace He will support you. I can't count the amount of times that I've felt like I was slipping, completely failing and have had to cry out to Him. Sometimes even before being able to cry out to Him, He allows my son to look at me and say "thank you mommy, you're beautiful, I love you." or my husband has come to me and said, "baby thank you, you're awesome." And those words at that precise moment has made me feel like I went from holding my breath for so long to finally breathing again. Simply because they're not seeing what I haven't been able to do but they simply see me.
Matthew 6:8 says, "Your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!" God is faithful, He's got your back, so lean on Him. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't think you can't ask for help. There are people around you that won't mind helping you. And if you are married your spouse is on your team! Tell him or her that you need help and what you need help with. If I'm honest this is not an easy one for me but I am working on it.
During these times we are living now with some parents having to juggle work or other children or house chores and virtual classes for their child especially the little ones, it can be overwhelming. Some days are good and others not so much so I can't emphasize this any more but just lean on God when you feel like you're slipping and are overwhelmed because you don't have it all together. Yet, on the good days when things are going smooth and you feel like you got this, don't forget to lean on God as well because He is the one that is keeping you from slipping.
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