Even if Weeping

In my last post I shared with you all about certain events happening in my life that made me come face to face with anxiety. I shared that one of the difficult events that happened was when Carlos was in the hospital. I cannot begin to explain all the crazy thoughts that went through our minds but if there was something that made that 10 times worst for me was that I didn't have any words to comfort him. I want to say that 98% of the time I would just inhale and try not to cry as I saw my husband cry in pain when his wound was being treated. I would inhale and just nod my head when he shared his fears and thoughts with me. But I barely had any words to comfort him, other than, "baby, I can't even imagine what you're going through."

It was in one of those moments of feeling helpless at home during the time where a nurse came to change his wound dressing that scrolling through Instagram I saw this verse:

Romans 12:15
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

And it hit me in a way that the next time around I was able to sit next to him, hug him and cry with him. I realized the importance for us to know that it's okay not try to be the "strong" one. But most importantly to weep with those who are weeping. Jesus was our greatest example of this. During the moment of mourning the death of Lazarus, He, being the strong one in one moment talks it out with Martha and in another moment, He wept with Mary.  I’m not trying to say that the death of Lazarus didn’t hurt Jesus, but I do believe that He was meeting Martha and Mary where they needed to be met. Therefore, with one He talked with the other one He cried.

With that being said, you don't always need to have the right words to counsel others, sometimes it's just sitting next to them and crying with them, the thing that they need the most. It might not be the easiest thing to do, because who wants to see someone you love hurting and not be able to do anything about it? I think it's human to want to at least say something in hopes that makes them feel a bit better. The title of Romans 12 is "A Living Sacrifice to God," that is to say that many if not all the things being said might come as a sacrifice to our human nature. So sometimes it might be to just send them a text saying I'm here if you need me or simply showing up and sitting with them in silence willing to listen to them if they want to talk, to cry with them if they want to cry or just hang out and play a game or watch a movie. To simply be there.

My husband is not a fool, he knew I was trying to be strong all along. Yet, when he saw me crying he asked, and when I told him the fears I was facing he told me, "I know you were trying to be strong but you know you don't need to be, we're in this together, we're going through this together. And yes, I’m the one with the condition but you were by my side the entire time going through it with me." it showed me that I didn't have to worry about saying the right things to comfort him because being by his side the entire time was speaking more than any words would ever be able to.

I don't know what you might be going through or what certain people in your life might be going through that you might be finding yourself in the same situation I found myself a year ago. But I simply want to encourage you to be there for people when things are good, but when things get hard and you're not sure what to do or what to say make sure that you're there for the person even more. Don't distant yourself because of not knowing what to say or do. Don't work so hard in being the strong one, just be there even if weeping.