The Super Parent

What comes to mind when you think of a super parent?

Is it a parent that is present, the one that is always there for their child or children? Is it a parent that works hard, non stop and tirelessly to make sure their children have a "better" life? Is it a parent that is 100% involved and active in their education and in school activities? Is it a parent that listens to them? Is it a parent that plays with them? Or maybe is a parent that does it all, that is "perfect"?

For a long time I had the idea that a super parent is the parent that does it all and does it "perfectly". 

With Mother's day being this weekend and father's day approaching quickly it made me think of parenthood and what our expectations might be for as a parent versus the reality that we might tend to miss. The reality is that no human can be a super parent that does it all and perfectly. We are flawed human beings, that are constantly making mistakes whether we know it or not. So not only do we make mistakes that already disqualify us from being this perfect parent but we CAN'T DO EVERYTHING; not by ourselves at least. We can't work, take care of the household, be the sole educators for our children or be 100% active in their school activities, spend the entire day and every day playing with them and listening to them. It just can't happen. 

Yet, some how I spent many times and if I'm honest I still battle with this ideology that I need to be a super parent. Not as if that was a big enough pressure on myself but to top it off I also struggle with the idea that I need to do it on my own. As if it was mainly my responsibility, therefore, asking for help came with great difficulty, with frustration and disappointment on myself. The thought of I'm failing as a parent was constantly on my mind because today or lets be honest most of the days I didn't succeed at tackling everything. I didn't get the chance to be the hero of the day. I didn't get to meet the standard of the famous Proverbs 31 woman.

 Who is this famous Proverbs 31 women you might ask? 

It is a woman, a wife (a mother) of noble character that the bible talks about in the book of Proverbs. In the church and among the Christian community we have used this portion of the bible as a standard for the wife. Now, I don't know if I'm alone on this or if many ladies have had this thought as well but this has become also the standard of  when I deserve praise, admiration and be thanked for from my children and husband. Especially, with what it says in Proverbs 31: 27-29:

She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle. 

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also

praises her: “Many women have done noble deeds, but 

you surpass them all!”

 In the book "Glory in the Ordinary" the author Courtney Reissig states it this way, 

"We have done a great disservice to families in the Christian community as we have elevated the Proverbs 31 woman to saint status. She is praised for her tireless work, yet we forget to mention that she had servants. She was no more a supermom than we are. Her place in Scripture is not to tell us how to be the mom of the century." 

 

 If I'm honest when I read this, I went back to my bible to look for where does it says she had servants, where does it say she had help in order to do all those things without being in idle mode. Now I have read Proverbs 31:10-31 many times on my own and somehow I missed the end of verse 15, "she rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and portions for her female servants." She had servants, therefore,  she had help! Thank God for help! We can't be a "super parent" but we can try our best to be the best parent that we can be, ask for help from our spouse if married or from family and friends and above all lean on God on the areas that we slack. At the end of the day,  God is the perfect "super parent" that we all need.

As we approach the days where we celebrate the mothers and we celebrate the fathers I want to leave you with this thought because I wouldn't want you to spend another month, another day, or even another hour beating yourself up because you're not the super parent you expected to be. And if you are yet to be a parent I hope this helps you align your expectation so that you one day don't end up beating yourself up either.  Finally with that being said, even under the circumstances that we are in globally,  it is my hope that every mother may have a great, special and happy mother's day.