Season of Seclusion: When it's hard to pray
Hey y'all,
It is April 6th at 11:02 pm. I am sitting on my bed with some chest pains and Ethan is asleep next to me but coughing a lot. We have been in my room, in isolation since Friday due to Ethan spiking a fever on Thursday night. I was actually trying to get some work done but the remote app that connects me to my work computer is acting up and not letting me connect into the programs I need. So here I am, writing instead.
Before saying good night my husband was holding me accountable and asked me if I've been praying. I had to be honest and said "No. I have prayed but not really." I don't know how many of you can relate to have been praying but not really. Maybe I'm the only one and am weird like that. When I'm praying but not really, I'm not talking about not being able to take the time to just shut everything out and pray therefore it's like I haven't really prayed. No, I have come to peace with knowing that I won't always have the time to do that and that's okay. Praying I believe should be a never ending conversation with God. Therefore there's deep intimate times of conversation and times of just talking as you change the diaper, wash the dishes, and cook a meal. With that being said having this feeling that I'm not really praying is just coming from it not being as easy to pray these days.
It has simply been very heavy and difficult to pray. There's so much going on, so many people needing and asking for help, so many people grieving, so many people sick and only being able to monitor symptoms because Doctors are trying to prevent visits unless its really needed or an emergency. I had to sit on my bed and do the vitals for Ethan before getting in front of the camera to talk to the Doctor, it was hard for me to believe that this was the reality we are in. He obviously told us we need to treat Ethan's symptoms as if it is COVID because we're not sure right now and due to the shortage on tests they might not approve him to get tested since he's a healthy boy. I was told what to monitor and when to call back or take him to the hospital. Thankfully by Friday evening the fever stopped.
Yet, it has all been so overwhelming that even though I have prayed I haven't spent much time doing so because I just don't know what else to pray for or what else to say. I just feel overwhelmed. So I have wasted majority of my time playing Word Crush and watching either a movie, Power Rangers or Spiderman with Ethan. Even though I didn't say any of this to Carlos he somehow knew I was feeling overwhelmed and told me we're going to get through this just try to pray and remind yourself of who He is and then he basically just went back into the living room to sleep yet another night on the sofa.
As those words kept resounding in my mind, I was reminded of Psalm 103:2. A verse I have repeated over and over to myself many times during hardships where it can be difficult to pray. So with his words he reminded me, reminded my soul to simply "don't forget."
Today, I want to remind you to not forget. Don't forget who God is, don't forget what He has done, don't look past it and forget what even now He is still doing. I know its scary, I know for some of you, you might be fighting this virus or not sure if you have it or not and just monitoring yourself and yet for many of you these are far more difficult times as you might have a loved one fighting for their life or have lost someone due to this virus. So it is my prayer above all that you may feel His comfort, counsel and peace through these times. It is my prayer that He may help you remember of his faithful love for you. That he may remind you that "The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him." (Psalm 103:13) Therefore, even during these times of difficulties, of fear, of grief He is still tender and compassionate towards us like any imperfect parent towards their children who doesn't want bad but good.
If you happen to be reading this but don't know this God I'm talking about, this God that I hold on to and call out my soul to remember Him. It is also my prayer that you may get to meet and know Him right there where you are, whether it's in your household or workplace. You don't need to be in a church to meet and get to know Him and if you want to talk more about Him feel free to leave a comment, email me or DM me in Instagram. I'll be more than glad to talk with you.
With all that being said, I love you all, I'm still praying for you all as I try to not forget who God is.
Blessings,
Sharie
It is April 6th at 11:02 pm. I am sitting on my bed with some chest pains and Ethan is asleep next to me but coughing a lot. We have been in my room, in isolation since Friday due to Ethan spiking a fever on Thursday night. I was actually trying to get some work done but the remote app that connects me to my work computer is acting up and not letting me connect into the programs I need. So here I am, writing instead.
Before saying good night my husband was holding me accountable and asked me if I've been praying. I had to be honest and said "No. I have prayed but not really." I don't know how many of you can relate to have been praying but not really. Maybe I'm the only one and am weird like that. When I'm praying but not really, I'm not talking about not being able to take the time to just shut everything out and pray therefore it's like I haven't really prayed. No, I have come to peace with knowing that I won't always have the time to do that and that's okay. Praying I believe should be a never ending conversation with God. Therefore there's deep intimate times of conversation and times of just talking as you change the diaper, wash the dishes, and cook a meal. With that being said having this feeling that I'm not really praying is just coming from it not being as easy to pray these days.
It has simply been very heavy and difficult to pray. There's so much going on, so many people needing and asking for help, so many people grieving, so many people sick and only being able to monitor symptoms because Doctors are trying to prevent visits unless its really needed or an emergency. I had to sit on my bed and do the vitals for Ethan before getting in front of the camera to talk to the Doctor, it was hard for me to believe that this was the reality we are in. He obviously told us we need to treat Ethan's symptoms as if it is COVID because we're not sure right now and due to the shortage on tests they might not approve him to get tested since he's a healthy boy. I was told what to monitor and when to call back or take him to the hospital. Thankfully by Friday evening the fever stopped.
Yet, it has all been so overwhelming that even though I have prayed I haven't spent much time doing so because I just don't know what else to pray for or what else to say. I just feel overwhelmed. So I have wasted majority of my time playing Word Crush and watching either a movie, Power Rangers or Spiderman with Ethan. Even though I didn't say any of this to Carlos he somehow knew I was feeling overwhelmed and told me we're going to get through this just try to pray and remind yourself of who He is and then he basically just went back into the living room to sleep yet another night on the sofa.
As those words kept resounding in my mind, I was reminded of Psalm 103:2. A verse I have repeated over and over to myself many times during hardships where it can be difficult to pray. So with his words he reminded me, reminded my soul to simply "don't forget."
Today, I want to remind you to not forget. Don't forget who God is, don't forget what He has done, don't look past it and forget what even now He is still doing. I know its scary, I know for some of you, you might be fighting this virus or not sure if you have it or not and just monitoring yourself and yet for many of you these are far more difficult times as you might have a loved one fighting for their life or have lost someone due to this virus. So it is my prayer above all that you may feel His comfort, counsel and peace through these times. It is my prayer that He may help you remember of his faithful love for you. That he may remind you that "The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him." (Psalm 103:13) Therefore, even during these times of difficulties, of fear, of grief He is still tender and compassionate towards us like any imperfect parent towards their children who doesn't want bad but good.
If you happen to be reading this but don't know this God I'm talking about, this God that I hold on to and call out my soul to remember Him. It is also my prayer that you may get to meet and know Him right there where you are, whether it's in your household or workplace. You don't need to be in a church to meet and get to know Him and if you want to talk more about Him feel free to leave a comment, email me or DM me in Instagram. I'll be more than glad to talk with you.
With all that being said, I love you all, I'm still praying for you all as I try to not forget who God is.
Blessings,
Sharie
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