ALWAYS & NEVER
With Valentine's Day being around the corner (a week away to be exact) I thought it will be a great time to talk about LOVE. And when thinking about what I should talk in reference to love I was reminded of a book I read not so long ago, None like Him, by Jen Willkins, an author, teacher, and simply awesome woman of God. In this book she talks about 10 ways God is different from us, and in one of the chapters she talks about how only God is immutable. Anyways, this post is basically developed from that. By no means do I want to take credit for what I learned from her, I simply want to share it with you all in my own words with my own experiences.
Anyways, back to love, a word that is being thrown around so much that in a sense has lost the profoundness of its meaning. The dictionary defines it as a deep affection for something or someone. But, love is much more than that.
Anyways, back to love, a word that is being thrown around so much that in a sense has lost the profoundness of its meaning. The dictionary defines it as a deep affection for something or someone. But, love is much more than that.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance... But love will last forever! ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8
This is the bible verse that obviously have the best definition for love. It is known and loved by many people. The verse that is used in almost every Christian wedding. Yet, it's the verse that can cause many to get disappointed. Yes, disappointed! Let me explain myself.
For those of us who loves these verses, we expect (sometimes even unconsciously) this kind of love from the one who declares to love us. We expect it from our spouse, from our relatives, from our friends, a love that always and nevers. Now, don't get me wrong should we aim to love one another this way? Yes, by all means. But, the problem with this high expectation of love is that some of us forget to leave room for mistakes, for maturity, for growth, for being imperfect humans and the end result is disappointment. We might not always realize but we see these disappointments when disagreements rises and the way we communicate it to the other person.
How many times when talking have you said to your spouse, a friend, or your parents, "You never do this" or "You always do this."? I know I can't be the only one that have done this. I know I'm not the only one who have said to my husband, "You always leave your clothes on the chair and shoes around!" How about when you're the one on the other side maybe even defending yourself and you state, "I've never done that" or "I always do this". I can't remember how many times I've said to my husband, "I never leave my shoes thrown around." Until one day he picked up my shoes and said, "Never?"
The truth of the matter is that as humans we're incapable of never doing something or always doing something. Whether we realize it or not our love for someone or their love for us falters. At one point in the relationship one of you will be impatient, one of you are going to be rude, one of you will get irritated, one of you will be selfish and maybe even one of you will decide to no longer endure the circumstance. In which can at times cause wounds, some distance and even a break up.
But, what if we were to change our choice of words when communicating with one another? Jen Willkins, actually states in her book, None Like Him, "How much more willing might we be to replace the always and never language of our human arguments for the language of grace and forgiveness if we could just recognize that we cannot ask another human to be our God?"
What if we were to realize that what we seek from another person can only be given to us by the One and Only? We put all that we have seeking for love that always and never from people without even realizing that not even we can give that kind of love. As much as I want to believe that I have loved others with a love that always and never, I must be brutally honest with myself and admit I haven't.
There has been times that I've been irritated by my husband, times that I've been rude to him, times that I've been completely selfish. By no means does this mean I don't love my husband because I love him with all my heart. By no means does that mean I wouldn't spend the rest of my life striving to be the best I can be and love people the best way possible. But I have to always keep in mind that I will mess up, that my husband will mess up, that my kids will mess up, that people in general will mess up and with that in mind I must leave room for grace and forgiveness. And I have to accept and lean into the understanding that there's only one who can always and never and that is God.
The truth of the matter is that as humans we're incapable of never doing something or always doing something. Whether we realize it or not our love for someone or their love for us falters. At one point in the relationship one of you will be impatient, one of you are going to be rude, one of you will get irritated, one of you will be selfish and maybe even one of you will decide to no longer endure the circumstance. In which can at times cause wounds, some distance and even a break up.
But, what if we were to change our choice of words when communicating with one another? Jen Willkins, actually states in her book, None Like Him, "How much more willing might we be to replace the always and never language of our human arguments for the language of grace and forgiveness if we could just recognize that we cannot ask another human to be our God?"
What if we were to realize that what we seek from another person can only be given to us by the One and Only? We put all that we have seeking for love that always and never from people without even realizing that not even we can give that kind of love. As much as I want to believe that I have loved others with a love that always and never, I must be brutally honest with myself and admit I haven't.
There has been times that I've been irritated by my husband, times that I've been rude to him, times that I've been completely selfish. By no means does this mean I don't love my husband because I love him with all my heart. By no means does that mean I wouldn't spend the rest of my life striving to be the best I can be and love people the best way possible. But I have to always keep in mind that I will mess up, that my husband will mess up, that my kids will mess up, that people in general will mess up and with that in mind I must leave room for grace and forgiveness. And I have to accept and lean into the understanding that there's only one who can always and never and that is God.
Comments